Friday, September 29, 2017

Places I Never Meant to Be: Original Stories by Censored Writers


I've had this book for several years and I finally remembered to read it for Banned Books Week. It's a solid short story collection and, as I expected, I liked some stories much better than others. It's a young adult collection and to be perfectly honest, there were two stories that made me uncomfortable as an adult reader. I don't say this because I felt they were bad influences on young readers or anything like that, but because they dealt with some really tough subjects. The stories I was uncomfortable with involved animal cruelty, lack of consent, and that feeling of paralyzing powerlessness when characters were in certain peer situations. Aren't these things that should make me uncomfortable? And aren't they worth discussing or contemplating anyway? I'm not saying anyone has to read this -- or any other book. No one is required to pick up a story they find triggering or anxiety-inducing. Trust me, there are plenty of books I avoid because I know I just can't handle them. And no one is required to allow their children to read whatever they feel like. But banning or censoring is not the answer.

Beyond the short stories in this collection, each contributing author wrote an essay about their experiences with and thoughts about censorship and I wanted to share a few of those gems to illustrate the wisdom found in these pages. Even if you don't read the stories, this book is worth checking out for these essays (and Judy Blume's introduction) alone! There are so many great quotes, it was extremely hard to choose, but here are five of my favorites:

What I worry about most is the loss to young people. If no one speaks out for them, if they don't speak out for themselves, all they'll get for required reading will be the most bland books available. And instead of finding the information they need at the library, instead of finding the novels that illuminate life, they will find only those materials to which nobody could possibly object. 
-- Judy Blume

That's all we writers have, anyway; our minds and imaginations. To allow censors even the tiniest space in there with us can only lead to dullness, imitation, and mediocrity. 
-- Norma Fox Mazer

Self-censorship can be very damaging to a story. When our chief goal is not to offend someone, we are not likely to write a book that will deeply affect someone. 
-- Katherine Paterson

Books are our windows on the world. They permit us to safely experience other lives and ways of thinking and feeling. Books give us a glimmer of the complexity and wonder of life. All this, the censor would deny us. 
-- Harry Mazer

A child's parents should be able to forbid their son or daughter from reading a book of mine or anyone else's. However, those same parents should have zero control over what everyone else's kids can read.
-- Paul Zindel

Artwork courtesy of the American Library Association

Sunday, September 24, 2017

It's Banned Books Week!

It's only been two days since I posted my "vacation bag" reading list for the next couple of months, but I'm already rearranging it! After skimming through their beginning pages, I've returned two of the library books -- I still may read them someday, but decided not to for the time being. I've also added the October picks for the Diverse Books Club that were just announced this morning. And I somehow forgot I had this collection set aside to read during Banned Books Week:


I've had an interest in banned and challenged books for a long time now and even ran a reading challenge dedicated to them for four years before passing it on to another blogger. Some of the books that have been frequently challenged are a bit mind-boggling to me. I have no problem with an individual or a parent deciding a book is not appropriate for themselves or their children, but I do not think it is OK for individuals or groups (or the government) to decide what is appropriate for everyone else. Formally requesting that a book be removed from a collection denies others the opportunity to make their own decisions. The American Library Association has some really great free graphics on the subject I thought I would share:

What's the big deal?




Facts & Figures:





Read!

Artwork courtesy of the American Library Association


Friday, September 22, 2017

Vacation Bag #1: Sept/Oct/Nov Reading Options

No, I'm not actually going on vacation. This is my metaphorical vacation bag of books inspired by my recent(-ish) summer vacation. The whole idea is that it was SO much easier to read books from my own shelves when I had a curated bag of limited options to choose from. I decided I wanted to continue doing that even when I wasn't on vacation and wrote a post about it.

So far, I've been pretty haphazard about sticking to my limited options plan. I haven't shared any "official" reading lists here, but I've had a small stack on my nightstand I've only sort-of been choosing from. This is partly because I went on a pretty good run where I had a very clear view of what I would be reading next, so the whole choosing-a-new-book-dilemma was pretty well taken care of. All of the Sarah, Plain and Tall sequels, a book club book, a summer-themed Newbery book and its sequel, and a Diverse Books Club pick (as well as a few others) have all been on my recent lineup -- and they were all books I had copies of! Admittedly, some were purchased quite recently, but they were still read from my own collection.

I have read some library books, but in about two and a half months, I read quite a lot more from my own shelves than I had been previously. So I wasn't feeling an urgent need to curate a "vacation bag" or TBR list to help me stick to my plan. But now we are headed into fall, I thought it was time to pull some titles off the shelf and get better organized. Fall is a time of year I always say I want to read "autumnal" books, but I never seem to get around to it. For me "autumnal" books are cozy, mysterious, gothic, spooky, and/or full of family secrets. But what typically happens is that September still feels like summer (which it technically is until the 22nd) and then when it really starts to feel like fall, the season is underway and flying by. If I don't get to some fall reads before Halloween, I tend to move onto something else even though it's still fall for quite some time afterwards -- officially, fall goes almost to Christmas!

All of this rambling is really just to say I think I will greatly benefit from having an "official" curated list of limited options to work from at this time of year. My hope is to (mostly) read from my own shelves and finally get to some of those fall books. I'm currently using a nightstand in our guest room for this little project:


So I'm going ahead and considering this my end of September and October/November list. I do not intend to read every single one of these books. It's just a starting point so I am not overwhelmed by an overabundance of options. I tried to have a nice mix -- classics, short stories, novels-in-verse, Newberys, poetry, a book-about-books, favorite authors, new-to-me authors, an ARC I won on Goodreads, and book club picks for both virtual and real-life groups. There are a few library books in there and I know a few more will get added over the season --  I'm just trying to strike a better balance, not abandon the library!

If I pluck anything additional off my shelves during the coming months not on this lineup, I will still call that a win for my TBR. In particular, I'm not sure what I will be in the mood for reading when I have round-trip (kid-less!) plane flights for my best friend's wedding in November. They don't happen often, but plane and train trips are some of my absolute favorite times to read. I'll be making sure to bring some books I'm excited to read in large chunks -- or possibly straight through! -- which is a luxury I don't often get these days.

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Do you have any fall reading plans? What's your favorite book or type of book to read at this time of year? I'd love to know!

P.S. Check out Hannah's Three Ways I Tackled My TBR This Summer post! She's on a similar mission to read more from her own shelves and my summer vacation post gets a shout-out :)

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Two Parenting Books Saving My Sanity

I actively avoided parenting books when I was pregnant through when my son was a baby. I felt like there were too many "experts" and conflicting advice and I just didn't feel like it was necessary or even helpful to "study up" on how to take care of a baby. I figured that I would figure it out, one way or another. People have been taking care of babies for thousands of years, right? I am far from perfect and I don't have all the answers, but I felt common sense and instincts would serve me well -- and they did. Until toddlerhood. Oh boy!

Everyone talks about the "terrible twos," so I shouldn't have been so taken off guard. But it took me a little while to realize I really had no idea how to effectively handle the behaviors and challenges that come with raising a two year old. The transition from a dependent baby who legitimately needs an adult to respond to his every cry to a starting-to-gain-independence-toddler who needs boundaries set -- and will whine and cry when he doesn't get exactly what he wants -- was a big adjustment.

Let's just say I was feeling a little desperate. Assurances from relatives, other parents, our doctor, etc. that, "oh, it's all just normal for kids his age" were all well and good, but they didn't help me navigate the day-to-day challenges of raising a toddler. I spent so many days easily frustrated and just wanting to "survive" until naptime or until my husband got home. I was facing some of the same issues over and over again (diaper changes and carseat were two big ones) and I truly felt like I was at he mercy of an (adorable) little tyrant. Surely I was doing something wrong. Surely other parents know how to do this better than I do. Right?

I still didn't think a parenting book would hold all the answers for my specific child, but I reached a point when I knew I needed to learn more about the toddler stage. I wasn't interested in any gimmicky or "trendy" parenting approaches. I wanted reasonable, practical, well-researched advice. I definitely did not want an anecdotal "this worked for my family, so you should try it too!" sort of book. So after looking at summaries of a whole bunch of options, I gravitated toward the science-based book The Whole-Brain Child.


I started reading The Whole Brain Child and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. There were so many examples and scenarios that resonated with me and made me feel like I was not alone in my struggles. This book helped me understand the developing brain (and my own brain!) and helped me realize just how little I knew about child development. As I learned more about the brain and child development, my toddler (and his behavior) became much less of a mystery and I felt better equipped to handle things. The principles in this book are not age-specific, but more tailored advice and tips are broken down for ages 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12. I borrowed the copy I read from the library, but then ordered a copy to keep as a reference on our shelves. 

The other book I highly recommend is Positive Discipline The First Three Years. I only just finished this one yesterday, but I read it over the course of two weeks and was actually able to start trying some of the tips and ideas well before I finished. Some of it might seem to just be common sense, but all the advice is tied to child development stages, so they are not only suggesting what to do, but why. They explain why babies and toddlers do certain things that drive us crazy and just having that clearer understanding has really helped change my perspective on toddler behavior and how I approach solutions. It has helped clarify what exactly is age-appropriate in terms of my son's behavior and my own expectations and is helping me navigate those day-to-day challenges. Much of Positive Discipline's approach could be summed up as being both firm AND kind with our children. It's not about being punitive nor is it about being permissive or overindulgent. It offers such a well-balanced approach and articulates the reasoning and science behind why many things I've heard suggested before work -- and how to actually implement them.

I wish I could give a copy of these two books to all parents of babies and toddlers I know without being that know-it-all mom who hands out unwanted, unsolicited advice. But since I can't do that, I'll stick to sharing here what has helped me in the hope it might help someone else through the exhausting and exasperating (and exciting and endearing!) stage of toddlerhood.

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The authors of The Whole Brain Child also wrote No Drama Discipline which is up next on my parenting TBR. And they have a new book The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child coming out in January that I'm really looking forward to.


And there are a whole series of Positive Discipline books focusing on preschoolers, teenagers, and children with special needs as well as books for single parents, teachers, and childcare providers. I imagine there will be a lot of overlap among the various titles, but I think it is great there are so many options tailored to different stages and situations. I will be picking up the preschool one for sure when my son is a little older.